LambCakes and
Delectable Monstrosities
Confections to Quaintly Subvert the Status Quo
My interest in Lambcakes came from the Currence Family’s Easter tradition of making a cake in a lamb-shaped pan. The lambcake became a comedic treat as the girls got older and was made to celebrate birthdays, graduations, going aways, etc. When I stumbled upon a similar cake pan at a thrift shop, I was able to appropriate their tradition and spread the joy of Lambcakes on my journeys. Lambcakes were just a gateway to other food sculptures and indeed, terrifying monstrosities.
A Going Away lamb made by the Currence Family. Red Velvet is the traditional flavor as it is humorously gory.
Virg*O*rama 2022 Lambcake - to celebrate Virgo birthdays down by the river, I made this chocolate Earth Goddess Lamb with Grandma’s from-scratch caramel frosting. The flowers, rocks, worms, beads, and hair are edible.
Lion Lamb 2021 for a Leo birthday. Chocolate cake with Grandma’s from-scratch caramel frosting. The mane is stroopwafels, a favorite of the birthday gal.
When the 2020 Maryland Sheep & Wool Festival went to a virtual format as a precaution against Covid19, I consoled Mom with a chocolate Lambcake with whipped cream frosting.
Harry Potter birthday, 2018- yellow cake, chocolate frosting, strawberry & pineapple Gryffndor scarf, white chocolate Hedwig, plastic Groucho Marx disguise glasses.
June 2016- Bride & Groom lambcakes for the Currence-Alago day of wedding- added the top hat, he survived a car ride, but an afternoon in a busy house was his undoing. The head sloughed off at about 2pm and reconstructive surgery was a harried success (propped up with a beer bottle as a vase full of flowers).
Strawberry Shortcake Cat for David’s birthday, January 2018.
Spa Lamb 2018: a savory Lambcake- cornbread relaxing in a parmesan cream cheese bathrobe with an Easy Cheese sash, Honey Ham towel turban, red pistachio nails, and a rejuvenating cucumber eye treatment. Lambs receive only the best at A Better Ewe Day Spa. Diorama celebrating Edie’s completion of Cosmetology School.
Easter 2017- Rabbit, looks like a cat due to the Milano cookie ears. Tail is a Sno-ball. First Lambcake experience for the Herndon-Powells.
Easter 2019, San Diego, CA- Amanda’s first lambcake experience. I was nervous about carrying my beloved lamb pan in my carry-on, but TSA was unfazed to see a metal lamb shape in my luggage x-ray scan.
Poodle lambcake for Melanie: pretzel tail with a donut hole pom, homemade caramel icing. She glammed up the poodle with some beautiful flowers and a nametag.
Cornbread bunnies romping in a veggie garden for the 2017 Hassler Christmas party.
Christmas 2016: introducing my family to the Lambcake with a traditional orange coconut lamb.
Jess’s birthday, 2018. She was in an Amy Winehouse cover band for Harrisonburg’s Rock Lotto, so this is a Bunny Band. Bunnies- cake, Drums- macaroons and a mini cinnamon roll, Piano- graham crackers, sax- carved pear painted gold, guitar- carved pear
Krispie, March 2017- I skipped the birthday party and stayed in with the Old Roomies because my introversion was anxious after a day brainstorming with astoundingly creative people. But GiGi came over and got to experience his first Lambstrocity, so it was a win. (Twyla ate its face directly like a bath salt nightmare, and Heishchan played Wig in a Box on piano.)
Mark’s birthday, 2020- Black Forest Lambcake.
One for the road. 2017
An attempt at normalcy.
Gemini Jambolee 2022 Lambcake - to kick off summer and celebrate Gemini birthdays, I made twin lambs. One is Devil’s food cake with chocolate ganache and nestled next to her is an Angel food cake with whipped cream frosting. A note to anyone baking Angel food in a lamb pan- don’t.
Leopalooza 2022 Lambcake with planetary cupcakes - she ain’t pretty, but she was tasty! This is the result of hasty decorating on a hot summer’s day. She’s a vanilla lamb with Grandmas’s from-scratch caramel frosting- tawny like a lion and like the sun. Leos are ruled by the sun and the world seems to revolve around them. Ergo, a solar system of cupcakes, one for each planet. Yes, I included Pluto, because I’m an 80’s kid and, hey, more cupcakes!
Lunch made for Mom while she experienced the 2020 Maryland Sheep & Wool Festival virtually from home- veggie quiche with a cheesy sheep.
First Solo Lambcake- Easter 2015. The excitement is pure mania.
Special Order: Easter & Birthday Chihuahua Cake, 2018, Chocolate cake, homemade caramel icing, blue corn chip ears, rice krispie treat tail, Airhead & Twizzler woven sarapé. Hoppy Easter!
Lambcake for a Deckwarming party on a strange cow tray I found while thrifting.
Happy Elopement for a pair of cat lovers: tortilla chips make terrific cat ears! Summer 2018
Gluten-free cocoa Krispie treat cat for Ashley’s birthday, January 2018.
Coconut Lamb 2017, gotta keep the design normal for the newbs.
Mom- "I signed up to take a dessert to church for the Potato Bar Luncheon."
Me- "So what kind of Lambcake do you want?"
Friendsgiving 2016: a turkey pilgrim lamb
Gina’s Birthday, 2016: I had to find out if Rice Rrispie treats would mold into the lambpan. The answer was “sort-of,” probably would have been more successful if I’d let it set up in the freezer. Twizzler Pull&Peels for mane&tail.
Hassler Christmas 2017: Build Your Own Bunny Monster station
Christmas, 2014: a Gingerbread style lambcake. Sugar rush group effort with the Currences and Edie, my induction in to Lambcake making.
New Years Eve 2016- Remember when we called 2016 a Dumpster Fire, not realizing how much worse it was going to get? That same year I learned that Doritos can be used as fire starters. I made this Rice Krispie dumpster, we set the chips ablaze to much amusement, and snuffed the flames in order to eat the giant treat like wolves.
Deer old Dad, 2017- Gina helped me make the old Hunter a Deer-themed LambCake. White Chocolate Antlers.
Gina’s birthday, 2017- aquatic-themed lambcake with mermaid and mer-pony. Had loftier expectations, but sometimes the cake crumbles.
Easter 2017: hard boiled eggs, cheese rabbit, mayhem.
Viewer Beware! Scary Cakes Beyond This Point!
Caleb’s birthday, 2020
Lawyer Sasquatch Cake
(aka Cryptid Counselor Cake)
Sometimes they turn out horrifying. At least Bigfoot isn’t supposed to be a looker, right? My lawyer friend and pal in Bigfoot speculation was amused and that’s all that really matters. Well, the German Chocolate Cake was also yummy, so that helps!
Jeff’s birthday, 2018
After learning of the Lambcake life and the tradition of “starting with the haunch,” eating towards the head and then saving the head in the freezer for a rainy day; Jeff mused about finding these heads in a Godfatherlike manner.
This was around the time the concept of a Space Force was bandied about as a real government prospect and logos were made by internet artists.
I wanted to create an edible diorama combining the disembodied head idea and Jeff’s love of space stuff. Thus the Battlestar Godfathica was born. A space craft opening up to a bedroom scene where an unfortunate man slumbers unaware of his bedfellow.
The Reveal
Pull back the crepe blankets and a cherry pie filling mess stains the vanilla frosting sheets. In lieu of a horse head which I could not find to scale, a toy giraffe head lies in the gore.
Much amusement, very yums.
The bed and side tables are chocolate cake, the headboard and footboard are sculpted chocolate with gold spray, the pillows are large marshmallows, the side table drawers are Kitkats, and the blankets are crepes to allow for a pullaway reveal upon presentation. The gentleman is an action figure wearing a fruit roll-up robe.
Rough morning for this guy.
He’s a good sport, y’all.
Gina’s Baby Shower, 2019
If you’ve managed to scroll this far, through cakes increasingly horrifying, it’s time to share the most atrocious creation in my portfolio. I’ve been wanting to make one of these for ages and threatened my best friend that if she became a mother, one of these would be in her future. One doesn’t get much call for cherry pie filling gore in this region where standards in cake beauty are generated by Southern Living magazine.